Remember the game of tug of war? We muster all the strength to pull in opposite directions, everybody gets muddy and we all fall down. It’s a game of strength, not endurance.
The magic of the collaborative divorce process is that when lawyers and their clients all pull together in the same direction, they build the endurance to collectively work through issues to solve conflicts.
By taking the fallback option of court off the table, any resolution becomes the responsibility of the collaborative team. No judge is waiting to declare a winner or loser. Rather, the outcome is solely up to the collaborative team.
When each person realizes that solving the conflict is the responsibility of the collaborative team, that’s when the magic happens. Through voluntary disclosure, 4-way meetings and discussion of the parties’ needs and priorities, the collaborative team can find lasting solutions to the most challenging issues in divorce.
Irene King is the Founder of King Collaborative Family Law in Charlotte, NC, where she practices exclusively collaborative family law and serves as a certified mediator of family conflict. She is committed to guiding clients in resolving their conflicts and rebuilding for the future with integrity and dignity.